Devoted to the demons inside

Do you ever just feel like so sad that you want nothing more than to keep quite and lie in bed the whole day? You keep reading that one chapter of that one book and you don’t know why. You listen to “Summertime Sadness” and “Dark Paradise” over and over again. Do you ever just feel like life’s tough? And the strange part is that you are absolutely alright, alright in the way that you have had no heart-breaks but still you feel that pain in your chest. You feel numb and you feel it’s better to die than to live. You blankly stare at the moon and the stars above. You stare so hard that you can feel yourself drowning in the darkness of the night sky. And then you look at those dark clouds, you look how they move, silently and gently. You look at their soft curves and you wish you could be there, just one time. And then suddenly your eyes are hazy, your sight is blur, there are tears in your eyes. You can feel the pain in your chest, you can feel you heart-beat and you feel that this world is cruel and it isn’t worth living.  And you cry not for what you have gone through but what others are going through. You pray to God for them. You cry for them and you don’t know why. And at the end of the day you think that it was lucky of you to survive that day.

Well, it happens with me. Many times, almost everytime.

Cries, Nupur.